the twist at the end

The unthinkable has happened. I got a job offer. Here, in the Philippines. A real one, not just the abstract & intangible "sure I'll pass on your resume" B.S., but a real "here's what your salary will be, this is who you'll work with, this is where your office will be, this is what you're doing" nitty-gritty details. A monkey wrench in my perfectly crafted masterplan for the next chapter of my fabulous life. Eh, actually no, nothing is perfectly crafted anymore, & I've come to realize from years of experience that nothing is ever certain until I am there actually doing it. Now what?

It's perfect in nearly all ways except pay. I'll be living like a queen by Philippine standards but when translated into US$ it's really quite low- like less than 1/4 of what I was making in New York. Although for here it's really decent, & I feel like a troll harping on the "low" salary when my could-be coworkers are getting by on so much less, only because they haven't had the level of educational training that I have, & a foreign education no less, & definitely not because they are less dedicated. Because they work their asses off. & I don't like feeling guilty that I can so easily slide into this opportunity to be their superior simply by virtue of my ethnic background & good fortune that my parents had supported my schooling until I turned 22.

But then let's be honest here. I'm no martyr-saint, & I need my material comforts-- ok, excesses sometimes-- as much as the next princess. I have student loans & a massive credit card debt to pay. I never intended to sign a vow of poverty when I chose this vocation. It's just what I am passionate about, & why should I not be compensated adequately? Maybe I just need to marry up to be able to afford my rockstar lifestyle. Anyone? Guys with E.U. passports are especially encouraged to apply.

So here I'm practically a VIP & people want to hire me. They want to promote me & listen to me & I get job offers from a single phone conversation. Then when I go back to New York I have to get down on my hands & knees to grovel to fetch coffee. Where is the justice?

I opted to start the job on a trial, casual basis yesterday to do field outreach. We went out to the ghetto (as in ghe-TTO!) a 2-hour drive away. I sat in as an observer this time, & later I'm going to help improve the program somehow. About 80 women showed up at a community center so my team could do a little "edu-tainment" show about how to practice family planning & STI/STD prevention. They sang & danced & did skits with props-- as in, a guy dressed up as an IUD stood in front of another guy dressed as a uterus blocking a guy dressed as sperm saying "bawal dumaan dito!" ("you can't pass here!") And yes, you read that right, they were all male actors. Oh & then another dude dressed up as menstruation later & did a "flowing" dance. No pictures unfortunately, but I have it all on video. Priceless.

I know, always have, that I'll be returning here to the Philippines to "settle"-- whatever the hell that means anymore. This is where my heart is. I just don't know when that time is, be it sooner rather than later.

Maybe the real problem is that I'm spoiled for choice. But it's always better to have more options rather than none, no?

"I would like to spend the whole of my life traveling, if I could anywhere borrow another life to spend at home."

- William Hazlitt

under the sea

Picture dispatch from the Davao waters.

musika del sur

I'd never before made it to the Philippines' southern most region of Mindanao. There is the general impression of compromised safety down there, considering that it's the region where the main Muslim separatist/terrorist groups reside & conduct their trainings & most of their bombings, beheadings & kidnappings. Maybe you've heard of the Abu Sayyaf? How about the MILF? (no not that MILF, the other one). Most foreign governments advise their citizens against visiting most of the region. Perfect material for the Mindanao Department of Tourism eh? Most recently, TV news anchor Ces Drilon and her crew were abducted by the Abu Sayyaf while doing a story in Sulu, a smaller province about an 18-hour drive away. She was freed a week later, and there are confirmed reports of a ransom payout, which enables the sad cycle of terrorism to continue. A shame, because the region is truly beautiful. It is also among the poorest in the country.

But Mindanao is a large island group, made up of many different districts, & believe it or not, not all of them are so unstable. Davao is the principle center of business & commerce there, & the 3rd busiest city in the country. If you take into account all the surrounding land area that occupies 244,000 hectares, Davao is actually the largest city in the world. Amid all the turmoil & violence that Mindanao is so known for, Davao has surprisingly emerged as an oasis of peace & tranquility, primarily thanks to their mayor, otherwise known as "The Punisher." He patrols the city streets on a motorbike with a shotgun & has been known to make criminals, especially drug pushers, simply disappear. Don't ask questions, just enjoy! He's also the reason the city's so progressive, practicing eco-friendliness & banning smoking in most public areas (save for designated areas)-- practically unheard of in this country.

My cousin & her family live there & have been begging me to visit for the longest time. Finally I did &... it's so dope down there.

Davao's got the ultimate laid-back vibe & beautiful natural wonders abound. The beaches & mountains are only a 20-minute dive away from the urban center. Not that I could tell where this alleged "urban center" was, as there are no tall buildings to speak of & nearly every road is a dirt road. Everything looked like a market place, but I reckon that's just part of the city's charm.

Poor little yummy piggies

I went straight to the sea, where I promptly discovered that Philippine diving kicks Thailand diving's ass any day of the week. The water was incredibly clear- I could see all the way down to the bottom from the deck of the boat. I didn't have to assemble my own equipment; it was all lovingly done for me by the diving attendants, & they carried my oxygen tank for me, rather than make me shuffle around precariously with it on my back like bloody Quasimodo. AND they let me go down to 25 meters! I'm really only allowed 18 (per PADI regulations), but Filipinos are just cool like that.

The boat guys caught some clams & steamed them on the boat. They even brought their own rice & vinegar = instant lunch! Mmmm chewy.

The Philippines' highest peak, Mt. Apo, lives here. And in the mountains reside the tribal groups Bagobos, Mandayas, Manobos, Mansakas and Tiboli, along with the endangered Philippine Eagle. Up there I went zipline-ing with my cuz-- first time ever!

And caught this brilliant display of nature in action. Nyek.

& then of course, what kind of trip would it be without me raiding the local market scene? The mecca for Muslim-made batik prints, tribal-inspired jewelry & cheap South Sea pearls. My 19-year-old princess of fashion niece was appalled when I swooned over the bright red beaded tribal-style necklace. I had to explain to her that while she, as a resident of Mindanao living amongst actual tribespeople would never dream of emulating their style, anywhere else in the world these items would be cool & "exotic." (hehe) She wasn't convinced, but I bought it anyway. For US$3! I just think of it as reppin' my national pride. I'm such a sucker for local handicrafts, & as a result my style is so very boho these days.

But the best part of the trip was the family time. Look how precious my youngest niece & nephew are. I totally heart them.

the beautiful game

If you're like me, futbol-mad (well, futbol-player-mad) & on the Pacific side of the planet, then you must be frustrated & sleep-deprived as well. The Euro 2008 games are ongoing as we speak, but being so many time zones away from Austria/Switzerland (the venues this year), I have to be up by a telly every early morning from 2:45-5AM. Madness! I have yet to see a complete game before zzzzzzzzzzzz.

But I love this game. Think of how many world wars are prevented just by having these boys sweat & pummel out all their aggression in the name of patriotism. Or how this is the woman's fantasy version of a "Mr. Universe" pageant.

God bless the tech nerds who came up with the idea to stream these games live online for those of us not lucky enough to have the proper channels to watch.

Check the schedules here.

Spain vs. Italy tonight! (Viva Espana!!!)

Watch live video from MYSPORTS 1 on Justin.tv

(if you get a "not broadcasting" message it means there's no game currently on, thank you come again. If there is one going on, hitting refresh should sort you out)

slave to the grind

I'm humbled by the overwhelming response to my desperate plea for help. Stop it, please everyone. I'm afraid my server will crash under the weight of all your responses flooding in. Really I'm so touched by your concern, but you can stop now, now that I know how much you truly care. Ha ha.

I'm no closer to making a solid decision. Instead I'm casting my net wide to see what bites. Resumé-blasting away! (psst if you have any hiring capabilities, holla back!)

Sigh. Truth be told I can't imagine myself going back to corporate world & all its fixings: the water coolers, 1-hour lunch breaks, office politics, office gossip, 9-5, etc, etc, etc. But it seems that's where the money is for me. So I do it, & I can be good at it. But then I burn out every 2 years & blow it all on periodic travel excursions. Like this! Rinse & repeat cycle.

And then, one of my standard blog reads posted this article, "Why Travelers Don't Have Careers." Like manna from Heaven & food for thought...

In the meantime, & the downtimes, I got a casual job writing. Can I write? I dunno, you tell me. Or not. :)

should i stay or should i go now?

OK, all 3 of my readers. Thanks for helping me out with my blog-maintenance issues, now maybe you can help me with self-maintenance. What should I do next?

The Nominees Are:

New York

Pros:

• near my immediate family
• dollar salary
• more independence
• it's New York

Cons:

• oh so wallet-breaking
• weather sucks 50% of the year
• more job competition

Manila

Pros:

• near my Filipino family
• I have more friends here
• higher standard of living for less money
• weather

Cons:

• need a car (& invincible driving skills on top of that!)
  
• very low salaries
• far from my parents
• not really a con, but a minus point for living there now- Manila will always be there to go back to
  

Somewhere else?

Signs, signs, signs?! I need one to point me in my direction.

As much as I could see myself hopping round the world forever & ever Amen, I need reliable work & a closet to store my many many many pairs of shoes in. My return ticket date is looming. I just need to choose a place & the rest of the equation will follow- the apartment, the job, the social life & the routines. I've never wanted to live somewhere & not done it. I just need to make the first decision.

Help? We could vote, I'll announce the results & it'll be just like American Idol. Or something.

yargh

Testing... Can anybody hear me?

Having issues posting today. Fonts are jumbled & posts aren't showing up & pictures are mysteriously disappearing. I'm not a tech-y at all, but I am a slight perfectionist (read: a wee bit anal) & this eyesore is causing anxiety. Weh!

Anyway let me know if you can see me.

unchartered manila

"I believe that Manila can be a reflection of your state of mind. Being a city of extreme contrasts it’s easy to see how it can become an intense personal experience. Manila can be chaotic and spiritual, dirty and divine, gritty and gorgeous all at once. If you don’t find beauty and poetry here, you will never find it anywhere."
(from the blog of Carlos Celdran)

It's funny... no, more tragic & embarrassing actually, that I spent the first 18 years of my life in Manila & haven't seen most of it. Far from it actually. Those extreme contrasts described in the first paragraph- absolutely true, & I believe that's the reason I've basically relegated my Manila experience to the Metro bubble that I've lived in all my life. There are so many invisible portions of Manila that many locals rarely see. So I thank heaven for the brilliant Carlos Celdran who runs walking tours of the city, thus taking it upon himself to open up Pinoys' eyes to this blind spot in their culture & help foreigners see beyond the glittering shopping malls of Makati into the real Manila, the most misunderstood city in the world.

The Philippines is an amalgamation of multiple cultures, & perhaps there's no better physical & societal illustration of that point than the district of Binondo-Chinatown-Quiapo.

Binondo, better known as Manila's Chinatown, was established in 1594 when the Spaniard colonizers gave the land to the Chinese settlers tax-free with limited self-governing privileges. This was to encourage them to be loyal to the colonial powers while keeping them culturally at a distance.

A little Spanish in Chinatown

The presence of the kalesa (horse and carriage) stems from the Philippines' days of living under Spanish rule. The Spaniards were the top of the food chain, while the Chinese were blue-collared workers. To escape discrimination, harness the executive prowess of the big fish & avoid deportation back to the homeland with a Communist emperor who would cramp their style, the Chinese were willing to shed all Chinese-ness & assimilate. They changed their names to sound more Spanish, interbred with locals & took up Catholicism, effectively blending into popular society.

But the Chinese & local customs couldn't be erased completely, & it's the norm to see traditional herbal & voodoo remedies sitting uncomfortably side-by-side along the Sto. Ninos & Virgin Marys in the many street market stalls. I picked up an anting-anting (mythological amulet) meant to protect me on traveling journeys (of course!) with the "Eye of Rome" on one side & 7 Christian guardian angels on the other.

Carlos held up one particularly nasty-looking concoction bottled with a black cross on its back, called "pampa-regla," or regulating medicine. Women drink it to regulate their menstrual cycles. Because when you miss your period, that's irregular, right? It also means you're pregnant, & the concoction is actually veiled poison used to self-abort. Abortion is illegal in the overwhelming Catholic country. Women can die or cause irreparable damage to their bodies from this, & it's all so unnecessary, if only they could get over the stigma of contraception & open dialogue about sex. Condoms & birth control are already the cheapest & most widely available as they've ever been in the country, but the risky behaviors continue. So if you need anymore justification for why health & sexual education is so important, look no further. This, sadly, is why I will always have a job in the field that I work in.

And if you suspect someone you know is a mananangal (or flying half-bodied monster that feeds on the flesh of little children), just wave these manta ray tails over the lower half of her severed body to kill her for good. Handy!

Then Carlos stopped & instructed us to pair up with a buddy. "Imagine yourself scuba-diving now & don't lose each other. Because you DO NOT want to get lost in Quiapo." We turned the corner & I almost gasped out loud. The crowd was almost impenetrable. But once you get the hang of it & position your purse in a solid deathlock, the shopping is to die for! I scored a beautiful decorative hanging lamp, intricately woven with shells, for a shocking P150. As in, US$4. I don't have a home to put it in & I don't know how I'm gonna fit it into my bursting luggage, but I don't care! It'll probably cost me 10 times as much to ship it back now. Me, practical? Never.

It was as hectic as I imagine China to be (I've only been to Hong Kong, but that's a bit different, huh?). "Be careful out there." I heard this a few times when I told people how I was spending my Thursday. Of what I wonder? Pickpockets, kidnappers, scam artists? Let's not forget that Manila is a city & like any other city, pickpockets can happen, but I probably have an equal chance of being kidnapped in the New York subway, & I am fully confident I can hold my own against scammers after surviving the Bangkok taxis. What are we so scared of anyway? When was the last time you've been to Binondo?

But yes, of course it was chaotic. I think all the white people on the tour had their eyes popping out of their heads, & the locals had their jaws dropping when they saw the parade of foreigners coming through their turf, snapping photos of them with their gargantuan Nikons. People everywhere, no sidewalks, vendor kiosks scattered haphazardly along the streets, cars & trucks sideswiping us by centimeters, kids in ragged clothes poking us & begging for money. I was really impressed by the way Carlos handled the crowds though, calming walking into traffic to let us pass, threatening to call the kids' mothers if they didn't back off, & getting the locals to chant "I love Philippines!" Hilarious. & really, amongst all the chaos & noise, I thought it was charming & beautiful.

As Carlos said, to improve the city of Manila, we have to first change the way we look at it & stop being afraid of its' grimier corners. I highly recommend visiting, even if only for the shopping. But if you're anything like me, I think you'll walk away with more than just some local handicrafts.

made in the philippines

(pic from BBC)

Happy Independence Day to the motherland!

The Philippines declared liberation from more than 300 years of Spanish rule on June 12, 1898, in the midst of the Spanish-American War. A premature declaration by then-president, Emilio Aguinaldo, because as he saw the Spaniards board their ships & sail away, he rushed to the presidential palace only to be greeted by the new colonizers, the Americans, who had purchased the country from Spain in the 1898 Treaty of Paris to recoup Spain's war costs. Ooooops.

American rule lasted until the end of World War 2, once the Philippines had fulfilled its usefulness as a Pacific military base. Incidentally I watched a great old movie today about the Japanese occupation during the war, one of the masterpieces of Philippine cinema, "Oro, Plata, Mata." It's directed by Peque Gallaga, a proud Illongo & filmed in Bacolod, yahoo! (I am also a proud Illonga from Bacolod) :)

Even though we are now proudly independent, we have much to owe to our former colonizers. So thank you Spain, for our love of all things pork, our musical rhythm, 40% of our language, Catholicism, & our last names. Thank you America for our English skills, our media-savvy, & our penchant for fast food & sugar. And then thank you rest of Asia for our family values, our cheap & great shopping, & our love of variety shows & karaoke. All these quirky traits combine to form the wonderful & wacky culture that I so adore & take with me everywhere I go.

Go Pinoy pride!

on an island in the sun

This post is so long overdue. I'm sorry! When I left Chiang Mai, I wasn't sure if I would continue with this blog, since that was the only reason I started it in the first place. But some of you miss me I guess. ;) Hehe.

So after Chiang Mai I was craving some hardcore solitude to finish off my Thailand sojourn. Just a space to reflect & damn, I've been living on top of 5 other girls & a crazy maid for the past 2 months. In a bunk bed. So I went to a place far away where I wouldn't have to deal with too many other people. I went underwater.

Diving's always been on my life's to-do list. The risks always scared me off, given that I have asthma, fear of body-hugging wetsuits & have read one too many stories like this. But I had the time & what better way to occupy my time whilst on a beach honeymoon with myself? I can only read so many trashy romance novels in the sun. So I decided to face my fears & enrolled in the 4-day Open Water Dive Certification course. I had my pick of dozens of dive resorts, but settled on Sunshine Divers since I was their only student at that time, so all the attention would be on me (as it should be). Even luckier for me, my instructor was simultaneously training 2 dive masters, so it was like having 3 instructors to myself, while other students were crammed into groups of 8-15 people sharing 1 instructor. I felt totally safe with so many boys looking after me. Plus my instructor reminded me of Conan O'Brien.

Matt demonstrating how to equalize

How I spent my nights- Singhas & studying

Koh Tao, or Turtle Island, is Thailand's diving mecca, known for its crystal-clear waters & some of the world's cheapest dive training, & it also afforded me all the peace & quiet I could ever ask for. While most visitors stay near the pier on Sairee Beach, I went all the way on my quest for solitude & opted to stay at another beach on the southern tip of the island. Chaalok Baan Khao was island life at its most serene, & I scored myself a private bungalow on a semi-private patch of beach.

The island is sparsely populated in a 50-50 mix of locals & expats, but the lines between local & expat are blurred beyond recognition. Heaps of British people come through every year to take up diving & never leave. Burmese refugees have built their new homes there as well. I almost didn't feel like I was in Thailand anymore- I barely heard any Thai spoken & there were white people everywhere.

There was an out of season typhoon the day before I got in the water, making visibility pretty shiet. "Crystal-clear waters" my ass! I was pretty terrified actually when I realized I could only see 5 feet ahead of me & was grasping for Matt desperately (he would have none of it, the bastard). But I soon learned to chillax & breathe normally, which is the real key to diving. Each dive was progressively better, & then I really fell in love. Hard. It's so easy to get lost in the tranquility down there, weightlessly floating amongst the clown fish, manta rays, barracudas, puffer fish, & moray eels. No turtles, despite the island's name. I wish I had underwater pics, maybe next time when I'm not preoccupied with making sure I breathe properly, or about to get mauled by a fish. Yes, it almost happened. Only me huh?

During one of my pre-dive lectures, Matt showed me a pic of this nondescript-looking fish & mumbled something about mating season, territorial behavior, just watch out for a warning sign in the form of a raised fin, but everything's ok, no, nothing to worry about at all. WELL. In the water, Matt suddenly made the sign for "triggerfish." I turned around to see a heavyweight fish, about 2 feet long & fat, going at the dive master while he backed up & stuck his fins in the fish's face. I giggled-- I mean it's a freakin fish, right?-- until the monster turned & went for me & I got a full-frontal, up-close-&-personal look into its gaping mouth full of jagged teeth headed right for me in slow motion. Eek. Instinctively I copied what I saw the dive master do & stuck my fins up to block it- the marine equivalent of giving the hand, I guess. But I could feel the force of the vicious thing banging its head on my feet, & wow, he was pissed! Matt finally pulled me down out of its upwardly cone-shaped turf & it retreated. Nope, nothing to worry about at all. It was just the life-affirming experience I was looking for. ;)

Low tide

Aside from that, I finished 2 books, perfected my tan, discovered the perfect pad thai, & learned how to vacation alone. Enjoying one's own company is such a skill, & now I can honestly say, with no modesty at all, that I'm really really good at it.