and so it is...

Back stateside.

Out of oppressive tropical heat into oppressive northeastern coast heat.

Getting bitten by West Nile mosquitoes rather than malaria mosquitoes.

Trashtastically awesome American reality shows instead of goofily awesome Filipino variety shows.

Fatty Twinkies instead of fatty Chippy.

As soon as I got here my family immediately treated me to a taste of home. Home in every sense! At the Filipino restaurant, my culture shock doubled at the sight of the white, blue-eyed blonde chick at the cash register.

Her: "So you ordered the two-rawn and the pah-law-buck, right?"

Me: "The wha?? Oh! Yeah" (turon and palabok, of course) "Can I also get 2 orders of the leche flan please?"

Her: "2 ley-chee flons coming up! That'll be $58"

What the! My God, I'm so poor here in America.

Last night was all a blur. I arrived in the airport, after 3 stopovers and 24 hours in the air crossing oceans and continents, dopey-eyed and confused and with zero dollars in my pocket, but a handful of colorful Asian bills-- play money as far as Uncle Sam is concerned. And wow, Uncle Sam, there is no way I could have mistaken you for any other country, with all your red, white and blue and homeland security greeting me in its loud, brazen, excitable way, and then getting all up in my face about what in heaven's name do I have packed away in all those "balikbayan" boxes??! ("about 10 million pairs of shoes, your honor") I tried filling out one of those arrival cards, which for a floater like me, is apparently one of the most difficult things in the world:

Name: Erin
Address: None
Phone: None
Occupation: None
Income: None

And I wonder how in the world they let me into the country?!

Tried to catch up on all the VH-1 I'd been missing, but soon after fell asleep. After all, by then it was about 8am Manila time, minus the good night's sleep. Woke up once in the middle of the night but popped a Xanax and all was well again. Woke up at 11am America time. Sounds about right. What jetlag?

Of course I miss the Philippines already, so much and I fear the worse hasn't even hit me yet. I left part of my heart there. But I found the other part here, on the other side of the world.