back to bangkok, & then debauchery central

Imagine... a 12-hour overnight van ride to Bangkok, with every seat full of gays (except me), screaming & singing (to Kelly Clarkson or really really bad Thai love songs) the whole way there.

We arrived in Bangkok at 7AM & went straight from that hellish ride into a human rights conference. Oooog I was in paaaiiin. Grumpy from lack of sleep & from distorting my body for hours, trying in vain to find a comfortable position during the ride. And then... the conference was all in Thai. Meh! Pain & torture multiplied. BUT I did meet a lot of potentially valuable contacts, like the staff from the Human Rights Commission of Thailand.

And at least this time I wore proper clothing!

I asked to be excused from the next meeting, also all in Thai, & fewer attendees, so my nodding off in the middle of proceedings might be more noticeable & some may say "rude." So instead I just wandered the city streets & a vendor tried to rip me off with fake Ray-Bans for 1200 Baht. I cursed him out for insulting my intelligence & stomped off while he chased me down the street screaming "how much you want pay??!" Bitch, please. The only reason I was even slightly interested in your shoddy merchandise was because I had left my $6 H&M shades back in Chiang Mai & the Thai summer sun was scorching my eyeballs.

After all that, I was more than ready for some fun. From BKK we drove (more driving!!!) straight to Pattaya beach 1.5 hours away. It's by no means the nicest beach that Thailand has to offer, but it's close enough for the city dwellers to escape to for a weekend. Kinda like Batangas to Metro Manila. But not as beautiful, & a lot more trashy. Like A LOT more. To illustrate: it was crawling with white Euro men (usually of the bald, overweight, not-so-easy-on-the-eyes, middle-aged/elderly variety) & their Thai women (usually of the scantily clad, heavily made-up variety). The nightlife looks like this (you can click to enlarge any of these, FYI):

But the ice bar was super cool (ahaha, I kill me).

Those are my coworkers, by the way. I heart them. That's my boss doing the ice shot.

The next day I was all ready for the "meeting" that we supposedly had, which turned out to just be an entire day on the beach spent banana boating, riding roller coasters, feasting on seafood, & then an all-transgendered cabaret show. I had no complaints at all. Except when they told the one straight, semi-cute boy that had the balls (!) to talk to me (surrounded by 10 gay/trangendered men) that I was a ladyboy. And he actually believed them. And then tried to grab my crotch for further proof.

Then the 12-hour ride back to Chiang Mai. This time with 2 hits of Valium.