i hate the bus

Threw the rest of my heavy coats and boots into my too-small suitcase and sat on it, pounded it and wrestled the zipper closed, like me on my heavy days vainly wriggling into a pair of skinny jeans. Mercifully it did close. Let's pray now that it doesn't burst and splay my underwear everywhere, as was my unfortunate experience once when traveling from Naples to Amsterdam. And another time from Manila to Hong Kong. Hmm actually this seems to happen to me a lot, I wonder why? Hauled ass to the bus depot, only to be greeted by the door bitch, who, armed with her clipboard and a nasty sneer informed me that there was no more space for me. "But I'm on the list!" I wailed, racking my brain for names to drop and pulling at the metaphorical velvet rope. Flashing cleavage in this situation proved fruitless. Bye-bye bus.

Cursing under my breath, I walked 6 blocks to the nearest Starbucks, dragging my luggage behind me like a dead body. And since when did one have to walk so freakin far to find a Stabucks?! They're on every blasted corner when you don't need them. And I hate Starbucks. But I needed the wifi. At $6 an hour, mind you. Groan. All so I could scour the other rotten bus options for the day, because I need to be back in New York already. My roomie is frantically texting me non-stop that there is a, umm, rodent situation in the apartment that needs to be dealt with asap. Boy, I can't wait to be back!

So as I sit here on this generic purple Starbucks couch, using up every cent of the $6 I spent on stupid Internet, sipping weak and overly saccharine sludge, I choose to vent out all my frustrations now to you, my faceless internet audience, lest I murder my seatmate with all my pent-up aaaarrrhghhhh. I will probably have to pee all the way back, thank you Starbucks, and I pray to God that the bus bathroom is halfway decent, but that would be too easy.

Next time I'm taking the f-in train!